The Canadian public in their generosity are sponsoring the following freedom sensations in Afghanistan. Each and every one a player dedicated to winning the democracy game. And here is your starting line-up.
Forward line
Center: Ismael Khan (former governor of Herat province, accused of human rights abuses, now Minister of Water and Energy, expected to run for president next year)
Left Wing: Vice-President Karim Khalilli (former warlord, really really bad human rights abuser according to Human Rights Watch)
Right Wing: Marshall Mohammed Qasim Fahim (former Defense Minister, Northern Alliance commander, accused of illegal land grabs, now parliamentarian)
Defense
Left: Abdul Rasul Sayyaf (as warlord ordered the killing of thousands in an ethnic massacre in Kabul in the early 1990s, parliamentarian, instrumental in drafting Amnesty Bill – surprise surprise)
Right: Abdul Rashid Dostum (brutal human rights abuser, heads Isamic Movement – a mostly Uzbek militia group, currently Chief of Staff to head of the Afghan Army)
In net
Goaltender: Stephen Harper (import from Ottawa who has taken one too many pucks in the head, Canadian Prime Minister and George Bush’s favourite bum boy, indictment – pending- for willful blindness, moral bankruptcy and stupidity in the Court of Human Reason)
Officiating
Referee: Malalai Joya (female member of the Afghan parliament, outspoken critic of warlords, recipient of numerous attacks and death threats for her efforts)
And there you have it. The team that brought the western idea of democracy to Afghanistan. And don’t worry if one of the players is removed, there are more on the bench that are equally as qualified. But there aren’t too many who can fill the ref’s position. She is who I want the Canadian government to support and protect. And by the way they can keep Stephen Harper if they want. Whenever he is out of the country, Canadian average intelligence goes up 3 points.
The information on the Afghans above was taken from the New Internationalist, Issue 417, October 2008. The rest was taken from the warped recesses of my twisted mind.
